Daily Journal #22
November 5, 2018
Today was a Monday of firsts! First day of a fitness program/accountability group I joined. That was fun and challenging. It was also the first day I felt rested in over a week. I am not usually an early morning person, but I started work at 7am without feeling I had to pass out. I was feeling so drained the past few days, it was really starting to stress me out and I could feel myself on the verge of breaking down. I still napped but I am feeling good today.
Daily Journal #21
November 4, 2018
Only a 4 hour shift and it was so difficult working through it. Afterwards, I was in my office and had a training session to do. Thank goodness for naps and thank goodness for gaining an extra hour from daylight savings. I was a little emotional and feeling stressed from feeling so tired lately but was able to push through it. Heading to sleep early tonight.
Daily Journal #20
November 3, 2018
Today was Bo’s memorial services. It was a packed house and over 200 people attended. It was so inspiring to see how many lives were touched by Bo’s. It was truly reflective of the kind of person he was. It was a little surreal and I couldn’t really believe it. It didn’t really seem real to me at times but I am grateful I was able to visit him in the hospital before he passed. I am also grateful for a loving and supportive fiance who braved the Seattle traffic with me and brought us out to lunch after the services. <3
Daily Journal #19
November 2, 2018
Have I mentioned that I never used to be a dog person? Because I wasn’t and I never imagined having this strong emotional attachment to an animal, let alone 2 of them! But I love our dogs and they’re just the cutest. I’m obsessed. They help brighten up my day. I feel bad sometimes, because on my worst days, I’m not the best person to be taking care of them. So grateful for Ralph. Long night at work but all in good spirits. Had a rocking team who hustled pretty hard.
Daily Journal #18
November 1, 2018
Been feeling a little behind this week and even a little annoyed with people too. Who knows… I’m grateful for the problems I do have and the people I am surrounded by. Thankful to have my doggies because that means I get to be a dog mom which I never would have ever thought I’d be or even enjoy. Like I thought that I would never want kids. For most of my life, I never saw myself as a mother and now, I cannot wait to be one someday. I’m also terrified because of my PMDD. And as scary as it all is, I wouldn’t have it any other way. Late night thoughts.
Daily Journal #17
October 31, 2018
Last day of October, it’s Halloween! I don’t normally dress up too much if at all but I decided to dress up as a pineapple! I wanted to be something fun, bright and cheery! There’s a lot of sadness and negativity in the world, so why not brighten up the day just a little bit. This past week has been especially saddening and tough. It was a DIY costume. I bought a yellow dress for $12 and bought supplies to make the pineapple top. I went to work in my costume and met some customers with Bubble Tea Costumes! They were adorable and so I asked to take a picture with them. Still feeling a little heavy today but trying to stretch and stay active. Seems to help a bit.
Daily Journal #16
October 30, 2018
My “day off” this week, which means I get to sleep in a little longer and catch up on my sleep. I’m not sure how I could do 6-hour sleeps or even 3-hour sleeps before. It seems almost impossible for me to get so little sleep and function properly throughout my day. I was editing photos much of my day as well as trying to speed up my laptop. Everything was functioning a little slow. It was a little frustrating. Tried to record for our podcast but it didn’t go too well. I just shut down and I’m not sure why. I just froze and couldn’t speak. It was frustrating. I seem to be in a funk this week and it’s been a little unnerving. Hope tomorrow is better.
Daily Journal #15
October 29, 2018
14 hour day at the store. From early morning prep work, training and meetings. Mondays have been packed full as of late. I am still not used to waking up super early. Naturally a night owl and work schedule is always fluctuating. I also felt a little sick this morning, but that passed after a few hours.
After this weekend, I’ve thought a lot about slowing down and being more gentle on myself. Thinking more about what really matters. Thought about the kind of impact Bo also left behind and how inspiring it was to see how many lives he had touched just by being him. He was inspiring and there’s so much to learn from him.
Death can be painful, but there’s always a lesson.
Ended the night with chats about parents, putting too much pressure and forcing certain expectations onto their children, and growing up. It started with a chat with one of our employees and we continued the conversation long after because it resonated with us so much.
Daily Journal #14
October 28, 2018
It was a tough day. It was draining. I was tired from the weekend and everything that was going on, but still managed to get some training in and do what was needed. I didn’t do much more than that. At sunset, 6pm, was when your family let you go. Everyone looked for you in the skies.
Daily Journal #13
October 27, 2018
My heart is heavy tonight. We left for the hospital as soon as got wind of the news. I knew if it was the other way, you would have done the same for me. Because that’s the kind of person you were. You were always there for people regardless of distance or how much time has passed.
And it’s been awhile for us. Long time, actually, since we’ve last hung out or caught up. We have barely talked except briefly during special events. And now… I wish that I took the time to talk to you a little longer all those times. I wish I had checked in on you and reached out more but we don’t get those times back do we. There are no do overs. This. Is. It.
I remember when we were a little younger we’d always introduce each other as cousins because it was so much easier than explaining how we knew each other. We would always end up explaining the whole story anyways though!
We will always remember all the joy and laughter you brought to everyone around you. You will always be in our hearts.
Daily Journal #12
October 26, 2018
Productive day working from home for half the day then working in the office and at the store. I was feeling frustrated because I felt the effort I put into something was being wasted. Kind of like when you worked so hard on an essay but your computer crashes on you and you lose your work. Well, my work was on my phone and there wasn’t really a way to save it before my phone crashed the app on me. Heard about one of our employees dealing with a particularly disrespectful customer. Wowza, I felt bad for her and I just could not tolerate that! Busy night closing. Grateful for a hard working team who takes care of each other. Mentally/emotionally, it was an ordinary day.
Daily Journal #11
October 25, 2018
Alright, so sometimes you have a bad day and the next day is a brand new day!! Today, my friends, was that brand new day. Got the chance to interview an old student of mine who is now applying for her first job at my store. So crazy!! She was a student at my very first job when I was in high school. Oh how the tables have turned. Also, great way to make you feel old. Ha! Good day in the office and in the store too. Once I was home, I noticed my face broke out in hives. Just my right side though. My skin is sensitive and normally I break out in hives during a change of season. So I’m wondering if that’s it or if it’s something else. I took some allergy medicine and will be keeping a close eye. Hope it’s nothing serious!
Daily Journal #10
October 24, 2018
I am definitely sore from Pilates. Opened up the store and worked at the shop for just a few hours. Worked some more at Starbucks and worked some more at home. Today was mainly work and laundry. Half of the laundry was for our store actually.
Daily Journal #9
October 23, 2018
I not only love sleep, but I need it. So glad to be able to sleep in which I think helped me just be at my best today. I was able to perform much better in my Pilates class this afternoon too!! Facebook reminded us that my fiance and I started dating today exactly 1 year ago. One catch! We actually started dating months and months before that! Still, it was the perfect reason to go out to dinner together. It’s the little things.
Daily Journal #8
October 22, 2018
I am usually a night owl but we went to sleep early last night so I could start the day early. It was a long work day. Early morning prepping and cleaning the store. I got to train two of our new hires today. We also had our Week Action Report Meeting with the management team as well. I squeezed in a few naps including one in the office. I was so SLEEPY but in good spirit!
Daily Journal #7
October 21, 2018
I worked an opening shift at work so actually drank coffee today. My body responds well to caffeine when I need it and not so good when I don’t need it. So, today was a great chance for my soy peppermint white chocolate mocha from Starbucks with half the amount of pumps! (I know, it’s really not thaaaat complicated) I think I pushed myself hard at work today because my feet hurt afterwards. Had dinner, worked on a few things with Ralph and now winding down so we get enough rest for an early morning tomorrow. Today was a good day.
Daily Journal #6
October 20, 2018
Saturdays always feel like my biggest opportunity to be super productive. I always have so much in mind I want to do but it seems to never happen as planned. Learned to be more forgiving of myself, push through and get what I can done and be more intentional with my time as I figure out the best workflow. Small changes everyday. Celebrate the small wins even on your hardest days. Small wins: pushed through emotions to get work done and hired 2 more employees. Grateful for a relationship where we both do the heart and the hard work in making it all work.
Daily Journal #5
October 19, 2018
The days have been feeling really long. It was an extra busy day at the shop, but I felt much better emotionally and mentally than the day before. Physically exhausted by the end of the night.
Daily Journal #4
October 18, 2018
Tough day. Woke up with a headache. Lots of ups and downs. Emotional at some points. I just got back on the pill so I’m in that transitional period where I’m not really sure if it’s the PMDD or if I am just a “normal” kind of emotional. Posted on Instagram with details of how my Tuesday went. Overwhelmed by the responses and support. Had a friend reach out about her personal experience with PMDD. So grateful for my community and for the love and support from those around me!
Daily Journal #3
October 17, 2018
I went back on the pill last night. Body was still a little drained today and still had stomach pains. Irritable throughout the day but manageable. Nowhere near yesterday, thank goodness! Still feeling frustrated for no reason and just trying not to bite anyone’s head off. In particular, Ralph’s, since he’s the only person I’ve really spent all day with. I’ve been taking ibuprofen all day to manage pain and a persistent headache, which is not helping with the irritability. Went to Pilates class today though which I hope is helping with all the muscle aches/pains from the past day.